Raising Will

Dad-sters are doin it for themselves!

8 Comments

Too often I hear women lamenting about the father of their children…
“He doesn’t understand what it means to look after a baby!”
“What doesn’t he get when I ask him not to be home late?!”
“Why won’t he show affection towards our child?”
“Change a nappy? Pffff!”
“You won’t believe it – I got home from yoga at 9pm and our son was still awake EATING TWO MINUTE NOODLES FOR DINNER! THAT’S NOT A DINNER!”
“**groan**”
 
I began to hear it so often that I was worried my husband would turn into a giant, ungrateful ogre the moment I returned to the hospital ward after Will’s speedy arrival. Of course I had nothing to worry about; hubby was a natural at being a Dad, even if he was terrified at first. And there are plenty more Dads out there walking the walk of child-rearing. So what is it about the opposite sex that has some women (often secretly) foaming at the mouth?

As a mum, I know I have been guilty of hogging the reins sometimes when it comes to caring for Will. The ever-perfectionist, as soon as hubby does something differently to me, I cringe. And then the same outcome occurs, and I think what the hell was I worried about? He’s not going to break him. He’s not going to starve him. He’s not going to leave him out in the rain. I realised that a part of being a great Mum is to be a supportive wife, allowing my husband to grow as a father, just as Will allows me to grow as a Mum. Perhaps some Mummies need to let go of the reins every now and then. Different isn’t always wrong. And two-minute noodles for dinner is ok every now and then.

Will and his Daddy

A father and child will grow together.... but a mother has to let them.

And Dads will be different. And that doesn’t make them any less of a parent. Something that has reaffirmed my belief in that statement has been my discovery of Daddy Bloggers. I guess Daddy Bloggers are similar to Mummy Bloggers (whatever they are!) but without the scrapbooking, meal planning and estrogen. Often dosed with a whack of wit and a humourous yet educated view on parenting, Daddy blogs have been providing me with a refreshing take on the father psyche, whilst restoring my faith in the opinion that not all Dads are hopeless when it comes to the nitty-gritty of parenthood (a quick shout-out to some of my fav Daddy Blogs at the moment: Reservoir Dad, Distracted Daddy, DadStreet, Backpacking Dad and Luke, I Am Your Father).

So in answer to my earlier question, why the growling and comparing and stereotyping? I still have absolutely no idea. All I do know is that in the words of The Eurythmics (kinda) there are many Dads out there ‘Doin’ it for Themselves’ and it’s about time that Mums (and Mummy Bloggers) started paying attention. So Dads, keep on punching bombs away (lol) and may the Mummy-Force be with you!

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Author: Michelle @ Raising Will

Loves Mr RW, two sweet boys and ALL the coffee. Sporadic Blogger. Sewing Addict. Perfume wearer. Chocolate eater. Stop the clock, I need a sleep!

8 thoughts on “Dad-sters are doin it for themselves!

  1. Hey!

    Thanks for the mention. Running the Mentally Sexy Dad comp last year one thing became clear to me – there are a hell of a lot of great Dads out there, they’re just not very loud about it and they don’t get the mentions in the media. Men doing bad things tends to dominate the headlines – Shane Warne, Brendan Fevola, Tiger Woods etc etc. The media need to strain their pens and lenses in the direction of some good blokes for a change, to celebrate them and promote some positive role models for others. Thanks for the great post.

    • Agreed RD. Thanks for your comment. There is always so much media hype around negative male behaviour. It would be great to have some positive role models outweigh the scourge of boys behaving badly for a change.
      I am so lucky to be surrounded by fantastic fellas that Will can look up too as he grows up. And us readers are so lucky to have such great Dad blogs to read!

  2. Michelle, after reading a couple of dad-bashing articles this week I must say that this post is a breath of fresh air.

  3. Interesting post…There are many stereotypes about Dads in general. I think a lot of men take the role as second citizen when it comes to parenting. They hand the reigns over to the Moms (or Mums as you say) and wait to be called to duty. “Mums” also assume the role as primary parent and so the cycle begins.

    When I became a Father I wanted it more than anything in the world. In my opinion, a Dad is the other half of the parenting equation. A Dad is just as much a parent as a Mom is. At least that’s the way it should be. When my wife was planning her baby shower I wanted to be a part of it just the same. After all, we were BOTH having a baby not just her. This was a time for us both to celebrate! I’ve taken this stance on everything. In fact, I’m the one who reads Parents Magazine, and Parenting Magazine in my household. Your point about the “meal planning” being done by Moms is a contradiction in my house as well, as I’m the “chef” not my wife. No, I don’t do laundry, I suck at cleaning, and I’m still a lazy guy overall. However, I’m a dad and I’m damn proud and am honored to assume all the roles that come along with it, not just the ones that society “thinks” I should partake in. Thanks for including me in your post and for the kind words!!

    • No problems DS. I love that Dad’s are breaking from the shackles of the past where only the mother was involved in the child-raising; such a pre-historic viewpoint. Women have been after equality in the workplace for decades, it’s about time we gave the same courtesy to Dads in the Home. Thanks for reading.

  4. Thanks for the shout out.

    In my short time as a parent, I’ve seen a lot of good dads. I think fatherhood is changing, dads are getting more involved and really enjoying it. A lot of what we see are old stereotypes from older generations. Being an involved parent is one of the best things a dad can do. Not just for the kid, but for the dad. My daughter and my relationship with her is one of the brightest parts of my day. Good to hear that your husband is one of the good dads.

    And I also love instant noodles. 😉

    • Great to hear from you DD. The new generation of Dads sure are bringing their A-game. It’s so wonderful and refreshing to see fathers getting involved with their children no matter if they’re a SAHD or working full time. And true – instant noodles are da bomb! I owe them my Uni degree 😀

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